Off The Ledge

I remember this one time I was sitting up at my rooftop with my legs hanging off the ledge and a joint in my mouth. It really was peaceful, that trip. The air was breezy and cool and the high complimented it well. But it was at that moment when my mind fell into deep contemplation. What if I just jumped off the ledge? I had nothing to lose. I was a 17 year old kid, a disappointment to my family for liking to enjoy a good trip and not giving a fuck about what my parents said to me. It seems childish to me now this incident but there was a time when I hated myself so much that I actually wanted to just let it all go. To become free from all my bonds and just pass into nothingness. It all seems childish to me now but there was a time I thought suicide would save my life rather than breaking it. It was after my grandfather had passed, after I’d lost an immediate family member that I realized that my problems weren’t problems at all. That my life was pretty precious to not just me but to all my family. Suicide seemed like an angel back then. But life’s taught me better. And I can finally get off that ledge without ever wanting to think about flinging myself off it. I’ve found my will to live.

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